Randall Kallinen

Local attorney Randall Kallinen is a board member of the Houston chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union, so he’s a veteran of many long-shot battles.

His next fight: The noble dildo.

He’s not taking on the battle on behalf of the ACLU, just some sad-sack store employee who’s the latest to get caught up in Texas’s arcane law limiting ownership of dildos to no more than six.

Actually, Kallinen doesn’t sound too sure of his sex-toy technology. Asked if the “obscene devices” in question might actually be vibrators, he says, “well, I’m told some of them may have some vibrating parts to them.” (We’re guessing it makes a big difference.)

Kallinen says the cops raided a Montrose store after they were tipped by the store’s former owner. He’s hoping to get the charges dropped against his client, a guy appropriately enough named Hancock, but promises an all-out fight if they’re not.

“Who’s the victim here? The only people in that store are people who wouldn’t be offended,” he says.

The U.S. Supreme Court recently rejected a request to rule on overturning a similar Alabama law, so Kallinen may have his work cut out for him.

But fake-dick lovers everywhere in Texas will be rooting him on. In private, no doubt.

October 17, 2007