12 Words That Sound Obscene/Offensive But Really Are NOT

List-making? Here we are, two entries into my not-at-all-eagerly anticipated nor much-heralded blog, and both entries are, effectively, lists. It’s a sign of lazy writing or, at least, a lazy writer.

Guilty.

Despite that, I’ve been accumulating these over the years and thought that I’d share them, in no particular order, with you:

Niggardly an archaic word for stingy, miserly, or overly thrifty. In January, 1999, David Howard, an aide to the mayor of Washington, D.C., used the word in a conversation with co-workers about the administration of a municipal fund. Rumors circulated that he had used a racist remark (guess which one). When the rumors would not subside and outrage against him and the mayor grew, he resigned.

Balzac last name of Honore de Balzac, French author.

Ballcock a part in flush toilets. Okay, maybe toilets are offensive to some, but they are certainly a necessary part of our everyday lives.

Masticate to chew. And in celebration of my own personal policy of using the longest word possible, whenever possible, it ranks high on my list of favorite words.

Tittivating to spruce up or decorate. My guess is that it’s more of a British word, than American. Heard Len Goodman use it on a recent episode of Dancing with the Stars (yes, I have watched that show in the past, but not anymore… really.)

Matriculate to graduate, which my son David, will be doing from High School in June. David Scott pointed out that this really means to study.  So despite not matriculating very much, my son, David, will be graduating from High School in June.

Kumquat a small, orange fruit about the same size as a grape. And easily one of the funniest words in English.

Buttress to support or to make stronger.

Lake Titicaca a lake in South America that is famous for being one of largest lakes at a very high elevation (12,500 ft above sea level) and even more famous for well… for… being named Titicaca!

Horehound No, it’s not a dog owned by a Lady of the Evening. It’s a flower that was used to flavor cough drops.

Chicksexer a person who separates male/female chicks shortly after they are hatched.

Eccentric Nipple Extractor a plumbing tool used to remove threaded part of broken pipe.  I’ve actually used one.  It didn’t work.

I’m sure there are plenty more… many associated with the game of golf. When I come up with a dozen more, I’ll let you know.